Money, or more specifically, a lack of money is one of the main reasons couples break up.
Sad, but true.
To be fair, a lack of money isn’t the only thing couples fight about. There are soooo many ways to fight about money!
For many, the financial arguments are based on different perspectives and personality types. When one partner is a spender and the other is a saver there will be disagreements. My husband and I have experienced this. I am a MAJOR saver while he is more of a spender. It’s taken us years to get on the same a similar page about money…it’s a process.
For others, the argument might be about how the money should be spent. You think it’s best to invest in the stock market, I wan’t to invest in real estate. You want to be a dual income family, I want to stay at home with the kids……blah blah blah.
Love it or hate it, money is a major factor in all of our lives and in our relationships. It’s so important that couples have conversation about money before making major financial decisions, like buying a house or paying for a wedding. In my humble opinion, you should not walk down the aisle before you feel comfortable enough to talk to your partner about money!!
So, before you make any major commitments, here are a list of questions you should ask your sweetheart when it comes to finances.
Do you have any debt? This could be anything from student loan debt to consumer credit card debt to a mortgage.
Have you ever been bankrupt? Yikes, this is a big one. If your partner has filed for bankruptcy this will show up on their credit report for up to 7 years. When you have a bad credit score this will make it very difficult to borrow money for a car, mortgage etc.
What is your credit score? Again, if you want to purchase a car, home, or take out any kind of loan in the future you want to ensure that your partner has a good credit score. Or, at least find out what there score is and, if it’s bad, talk about the changes that are necessary to make improvements. In Canada, a credit score ranges from 300 to 900 and the higher your score, the better. Basically a higher score means you are more likely to pay back any money you’ve borrowed. If you don’t know anything about credit and you are finding this a bit confusing, don’t worry. You are not alone. Credit can be a complex and confusing topic. I will write a post in the near future to break it down.
Do you pay your credit card balance in full every month? This is the cardinal rule of credit card ownership. Treat it like a debit card. If you can’t pay it off in full each month, don’t use it.
Are you a saver or a spender? If one of you is a saver and the other a spender, it’s not a deal breaker, it just means you need to have conversations and come to a compromise when it comes to your finances. The solution for me and my husband — every pay check we put a determined amount of money into an account that covers all of our bills, savings and investments. Anything left over stays in our personal accounts and is ours to spend (or save!) as we wish.
Who’s paying for what? If you are planning to move in with your partner you might want to have a conversation about how to split expenses. Will you do a 50/50 split? Or, are you basing it on who makes more money?
Do you have a savings account? It’s a good sign if your partner has a savings account. This might indicate that they think about the future and want to have a little security cash saved up in case of emergency.
Do you follow a budget? You don’t have to keep track of every dollar but you should have a general idea of how much comes in every month and how much goes out (what do you need to cover your fixed expenses — rent, car payments etc.) before you decide to spend money on variable expenses — clothes, beer, fast food.
Do you want to rent or own a home? Again, you might have differing opinions so you need to talk it through and find a compromise.
What are your financial goals? For instance, do you want to buy a home in five years, do you want to go on vacation next winter, do you want to save for your kids to go to school, what do you want your retirement to look like?
These conversations are not romantic but, they are important. If talking about money was easy it wouldn’t be one of the top reasons that couples get divorced. However, if you want to avoid the fight about money start talking early and keep talking often.
