What is Networking?

There are few words that instill as much fear and anxiety in me as NETWORKING.

Agh, I hate networking and networking hates me.

I am bad at it.

I love meeting new people but I don’t enjoy the process that you have to go through to get there. The awkwardness, the forced small talk, the anxiety, the sweat.

I’m an introvert and I like to stay within my sphere of comfort. And let me tell you, it’s a small sphere.

With all this being said you would think that social media and online communities would be more my deal….but, you would be wrong.

I am equally bad, or perhaps even worse, at networking via social media then I am in person.

It’s just not my bag.

When it comes to networking in person most of my experience is in going to grad school conferences. If you are not familiar with the grad student type let me paint you a picture.

Imagine spending most of your waking hours in a dingy, basement laboratory with no windows. The only conversations you have are with other disgruntled grad students and they’re topic of choice is usually the content of your thesis, the measly amount of money you are making as a TA (teaching assistant) or how much you hate your supervisor. Every moment of your waking hours are consumed with your thesis.

Scrap that…

Even your sleeping hours are consumed/interrupted with thoughts/nightmares of your thesis.

You have forgotten about any friends or family members that don’t reside in the lab.

You are basically a basement troll that only emerges from the depths when it’s time to feed.

So, you can imagine the social skills going on when all of us get packed into a room together.

Half the group is just dying to talk someones ear off about their thesis topic that no one else cares about and the other half are slinking off into the corners trying to disappear rather than strike up a conversation with a stranger (I fit here).

Just kidding, well….not really.

((if this all makes you want to learn more about grad school, and it should, then you need to check out this article))

My social skills on social media are no better….

When it comes to social media I just can not fathom the idea of someone caring about something I have to say in 140 characters or less. My life just doesn’t seem that interesting.

Not to mention it’s all very time consuming.

I like the idea of twitter and the potential to build communities with new people who have common interest yet, I also find it difficult to just strike up a conversation with a stranger. And, I am a consumer of Facebook, I enjoy a good creep session as much as the next person but, I don’t contribute much to this medium. I don’t like to contribute because I feel like, well, like kind of a poser.

So, now that I have told you all of the things I dislike about networking, in person and on social media, I am going to try and convince you, and myself, of why it is so important.

But, let’s start with a definition…

So, what is networking?

Networking is essentially interacting with a group of people in order to try and build a community. Usually we think of networking in a business or educational sense. You get together with people who share some sort of common interest in an effort to learn from them, form relationships and find new opportunities.

Why should I care? (I am literally writing this for myself):

It can help you get a job: When you dig into the research on job acquisition, or even just talk to your friends or acquaintances about how they got their job, you will realize that a large number of positions are filled through connections, by knowing someone on the inside as opposed to sending an email application.

It’s called the “hidden job market” and many articles have put forth estimates that 60-80% of jobs fall into this category.

OR, at least that’s how it used to be….

This article suggests that the 60-80% estimate is a very old and misleading statistic. This comes from a time when there was no internet and it was difficult to try and recruit a qualified candidate from afar.

The author of this article did a lot of research and found that today (2018, the article was published in 2016) it’s more likely that only 40% of jobs are part of the “hidden job market.” But still, that’s a big chunk.

Today many people are able to find jobs online with tools like LinkedIn and other job boards…..so, there’s still hope for the introvert!

Acquiring clients: If you dream of being an entrepreneur or freelancer (or if you are one) then you know/will find out how difficult it is to find clients. Just FYI, the same goes for acquiring blog readers. The whole idea of “build it and they will come,” TOTAL CRAP.

Build it and the won’t come because they don’t even know you exist.

 

It’s up to you to go out and find your clients/readers. One helpful way of doing this is by meeting other people in your field, in person, who have already been through the process and are wiser than you!

Talk to them, form relationships with them, learn from them. Despite being in the midst of the social media age there is just something about having a face to face conversation that can’t be replicated over Twitter or Instagram.

Without a network you will get left behind: If you want to build an empire or start a small business or even just find a job then you need to make connections with other people. You can’t do everything in isolation. Or, I suppose you technically can, but it’s a lot harder, will take a lot longer and is probably a lot less fun.

You might get lucky and meet a new friend. When I think of networking I think of making new “business connections” but you might actually be lucky enough to make a new, life long friend..

Is this point too corny? I debated leaving it out…but, it’s the truth.

The richest people in the world look for and build networks, everyone else looks for work. ~Robert T. Kiyosaki Click To Tweet

A challenge for you…and me!

This week let’s all take one step to expand our networks.

Go to a group event in your area of interest in your city.
Do a quick google search to see if there are any meet ups or events related to your area of interest.If you are nervous about not knowing anyone remember, you all have something in common, you are all there for the same reason. You literally have a built in conversation starter. Also, a lot of meet ups are held in pubs….so, there’s alcohol. Natures mouth lube. That always helps!

Join a group…in person.
This doesn’t have to be related to work or school, though it can be. If you want to learn how to run, join a running group. If you just had a baby, join a mommy and me class (I did this recently, so points for me!) Just get out there and meet some new people.

Conduct an informational interview.
If group settings aren’t your deal then consider conducting a one-on-one informational interview.

This is when you ask someone that you admire, or want to work with, or someone who can provide you with some wisdom on a topic of interest, to go to coffee. The goal, as the name suggests, is to gather information.

Let’s say you want to apply to law school but you have not idea what a lawyer does. It’s probably a good idea to talk to someone who has been there and is practicing law to see if it’s a good fit.

I know this sounds scary but most people love to talk about themselves and most people also love free coffee. This allows you to make a new connection, learn more about your area of interest and it gets your name out there. Then when you go to look for a job you already have a connection in your field of interest.

I personally prefer one-on-one situations over a group setting and I have conducted informational interviews in the past. They went super informative and weren’t all that scary.

Get more active on social media.
I saved the least scary one for last! Put yourself out there, put up a more personal post, join a conversation, try and form a genuine connection with a stranger

Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don't Click To Tweet

Baby Steps….here’s a few suggestions on how to make your foray into networking just a little bit easier!

Ease into it: If you like social media then maybe start there. Form some virtual connections and then when the time comes to go to a live event you will have the opportunity to meet in person.

I see a lot of people in the personal finance community making great connections over social media. When it comes to be the big conferences (FinCon) I see people making plans to room with their twitter friends (for the cost savings of course!) Or, when visiting a new city I see people talking about meeting up so they can finally have a face to face conversation.

Go to group events with an “established” friend: if you have a friend or acquaintance who is interested in pursuing a similar career path, or someone who is willing to tag along, then ask them to join you and go to the live event together. This way you can guarantee you won’t be standing completely alone in a corner with no one to talk to. Though, like I said before, everyone there has a common interest so striking up a conversation shouldn’t be too hard.

Start by reaching out to the network you already have. Do you have a family? Maybe a couple of friends? A few friendly acquaintances? Look at you! You’ve already started to build your network. Give your self a big pat on the back. When it comes time to look for a job or set up an informational interview ask your network if they can connect you with someone in your area of interest.

That’s all folks. Until next time. BUT, I still want to hear from you…

Do you have any savvy networking tips that you use and want to share?

Do you have any networking horror stories or major successes?

References

Photos from Unsplash, Unsplash